Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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