What did we do last night that was yellow?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
