You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
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