We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
