im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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