My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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