Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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