its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
