I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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