he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
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You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
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I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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