i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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