it wasn't lemon gatorade
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
