Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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