There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
