my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
