Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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