The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
