i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Randomize
