sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
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So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
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i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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