It's Friday. Sex?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Randomize
