Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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