Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
