just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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