do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
