we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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