ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
