glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
