The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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