Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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