even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
