I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
