Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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