He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
A+ Viking dick
Randomize
