all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
