i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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