As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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