p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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