Jerry, you need to find god
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
