When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
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I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
he fucked my hip out of place.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
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The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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