Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
