i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
