we have officially mastered the walk of shame
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
