You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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