in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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