I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
