Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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