I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
