some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
