So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
