She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
