Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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