saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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