Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
