he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
