yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Randomize
