I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
