how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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