the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
