I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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