make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Randomize
