do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
