alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Randomize
