she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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